FEARS AT FOURTEEN
- Mirror, tell me the story
- I can't change, future grieving
- like a widow. It's a burden
- the future, I want to be old
- and finished. Not this story,
- this blank page aching
- for my words. What happens
- if I falter? I want the mirror
- to be a friend who'll lie
- convincingly, tell me
- I'm a genius, not a failure.
- Burn my lamp, keep the genie
- talking. I'm really underage
- and the plains are endless
- but every step is rutted.
- My eyebrows are too thick &
- close together, my legs too thin.
- I'm daughter, always daughter
- but the voice within is learning
- mother. I'm like her at my age.
- Mirror, mirror, she's changing
- already to grandmother.
- I'm more afraid of scars
- than pain. Pain is my experience,
- scars you'll see in the mirror.
- I'm outside more than inside,
- carefully combing the way I want to be,
- but life won't let me stay,
- keeps rubbing me out,
- I'm trying to write on a greasy page.
- but there's no end to my story.
- I'm so ready for it,
- eternal & one of the Gods,
- it's my mother and father who are mortals.
- I'm capricious like the weather
- and they try and stop me
- and direct me, and even appease
- with gifts or curses, but they're powerless.
- We're treading on their lives,
- and it can't be any other way.
- Everything they've done, we'll tread
- and tread upon, they'll leave
- their best hopes embroidered with
- gems of tears. But what can we do?
- We're the future
- and they have to make way.
- Mirror, mirror, don't tell me
- what I can't see. The horizon beyond
- my vision. One step at a time, so
- they say, one minute at a time
- and I won't pause for fear
- of looking back, or looking down,
- or looking too far in front,
- or into you, mirror.